Get Your Confidence Back Instantly
People sometimes are hostile without a good reason. In this touching story you can read about a woman, whose life was made miserable by her husband's ex. Without being able to stop the ex creating havoc and disaster, they still managed to find a way out and got their self confidence back instantly.
"You know she calls me? The murderer..." Tears were streaming down hercheeks, as she looked up from her coffee. We were sat in her beautifulkitchen, with the ivory colored Granny stove, the copper all freshlypolished. Outside the sun was shining, but she could not be botheredto sit outside on the little garden bench in front of the house.
She and her husband had been together now for 3 years, their daughterwas almost 2 years old, and they seemed a happy couple. The only cloudover there happy existence, was his ex-wife, who would not give upmaking life miserable for him and his new family.
Sandra had often asked me why she would be doing that. "She knows therelationship is over, and she does not even want him back! He hasgiven her everything they had together, the car, the house, thefurniture, she will get even part of his old age pension when he turns65. And still she is raging with anger, and she does not leave oneopportunity to destroy our happiness".A couple of days before, Sandra had spoken to her mother, and she hadtold her that Albert's ex told the children in the street that Sandrawas a murderer. She did not give details, but Sandra knew exactly whatshe meant.
She had never forgiven Albert that he did not react like she wanted,and she started calling Sandra 'The Murderer'. For Sandra this was areal hard ordeal to cope with. Sandra's parents are Christians, andabortion is completely out of the picture for them. Sandra herselfwould never even think about it, and it really hurts her that Albert'sex blames her for it.I sat still for a moment, I did not really know what to say. I knewthe story, I knew what it meant to her, and actually I could notunderstand why Albert's ex was apparently starting a phase of attackyet again. And using the children of her neighborhood, did not seemvery mature behavior.I could now do two things. I could start to talk about the reasons,the emotions, the grief, the anger of Albert's ex, in an attempt tomake Sandra understand why she was doing this. Quickly I dismissed theidea, if I myself could not understand fully what was motivating thiswoman to destroy Albert and Sandra's happiness, how could I helpSandra understand?I remembered something I read just a couple of days ago. It was anarticle about a new NLP technique called Magic Hats, used to gain moreconfidence. I had to take the chance to see if it would also helpSandra to cope better with the stress and the agony she was goingthrough now.The exercise is pretty simple, so I suggested to her that we would doa quick NLP exercise. Since she knows that I am a NLP masterpractitioner, she trusts me with this kind of stuff, and we startedafter we finished our coffee.
I talked her through the exercise: I first brought her into a state oflight hypnosis, then I did a swish with her, in which you create twoimages: One you want to get rid of and one you want to reach. Yousubstitute the old image with the new, and the accompanying emotionsjust follow. After that we anchored the emotion with an imaginaryyellow hat.When I brought her back into her awake state, she looked at me wit
She had never forgiven Albert that he did not react like she wanted,and she started calling Sandra 'The Murderer'. For Sandra this was areal hard ordeal to cope with. Sandra's parents are Christians, andabortion is completely out of the picture for them. Sandra herselfwould never even think about it, and it really hurts her that Albert'sex blames her for it.I sat still for a moment, I did not really know what to say. I knewthe story, I knew what it meant to her, and actually I could notunderstand why Albert's ex was apparently starting a phase of attackyet again. And using the children of her neighborhood, did not seemvery mature behavior.I could now do two things. I could start to talk about the reasons,the emotions, the grief, the anger of Albert's ex, in an attempt tomake Sandra understand why she was doing this. Quickly I dismissed theidea, if I myself could not understand fully what was motivating thiswoman to destroy Albert and Sandra's happiness, how could I helpSandra understand?I remembered something I read just a couple of days ago. It was anarticle about a new NLP technique called Magic Hats, used to gain moreconfidence. I had to take the chance to see if it would also helpSandra to cope better with the stress and the agony she was goingthrough now.The exercise is pretty simple, so I suggested to her that we would doa quick NLP exercise. Since she knows that I am a NLP masterpractitioner, she trusts me with this kind of stuff, and we startedafter we finished our coffee.
I talked her through the exercise: I first brought her into a state oflight hypnosis, then I did a swish with her, in which you create twoimages: One you want to get rid of and one you want to reach. Yousubstitute the old image with the new, and the accompanying emotionsjust follow. After that we anchored the emotion with an imaginaryyellow hat.When I brought her back into her awake state, she looked at me wit
hamazed eyes. 'I knew that NLP is powerful, but that it would change myunhappiness into a blissful state in 20 minutes, I would never haveimagined!´ she said.Since then 3 days passed, and every time I talk to her she seems to beeven less bothered by the actions of Albert's ex. I actually thinkthat the ex is going to give up soon, because her efforts don't haveresults anymore.
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