Be the Center of Attention - Anytime, Anywhere

When you are a socially-skilled person, you will achieve a higher level of greatness only because other people will promote you by telling others what a great person you are to be around or to do business with. Yes, these skills will help you make lots of money.

My friend "Red" was the consummate people-person. He made a small fortune selling used cars - part time! People made an appointment with him just to buy from him and only him! They spread the word to their friends that Red was the go-to guy for a used car.

When you master the following social skills, you will have the trust and all-out support of others just like Red. These will be people you have helped who are eager to help you. All you have to do is ask and they will bend over backwards to get you what you need. This gives you a small army of people who will help you achieve anything your heart desires.

Once you learn the following social skills and apply them, you reach a level self-empowerment never imagined by you. In effect, self-empowerment is making a general overhaul of your life and turning yourself into a happier and more successful person. You just have to know and apply the following 10 skills.

1. Be genuine.

Make sure you go at this with good motives. People can read a phony and you will be stopped before you can even get started because people will tell others to keep away from you.

Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet. Once they perceive that you have selfish intentions, you might as well say goodbye to self-empowerment.

2. Be the greatest listener that you can be.

To earn the love and trust of people, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out, listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact and listen intently because every word they speak matters. And, ask questions to draw them out. Resist giving them unsolicited advice. Just listen, ask questions, and listen some more. Soon they will see that you are a person they can confide in.

3. Laugh out loud.

Don't force yourself to laugh at every joke or comment if you do not find it funny. A polite smile is fine in that case but, if it's funny to you, laugh out loud. Find humor in things and don’t be deadly serious about everything. When you display an awesome sense of humor, you will attract others and eventually, build successful relationships.

4. Don't forget yourself.

In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, guard against allowing others to walk all over you. If you love and value yourself before anyone else, if you see yourself worthy of affection and respect, people will flock to you and not simply use you. What do I mean by this? It's a fact that some people will see your personality as weak and will not take you seriously. Ignore them and move to others who appreciate you.

5. Be a "good-deed-doer.”

You don't have to give until you are broke. In fact, money is the worst thing you can give. Instead, do little acts of kindness. These matter most and can be as simple as sending someone a surprise "Thinking of you" card or helping someone acquire something they need through one of your friends or contacts. I often use my network of acquaintances to make things happen for others with a simple phone call.

6. Contact your old friends.

Many friendships are destined to end for various reasons beyond our control. But, thanks to technology, you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping through your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support peers will surely make you, and them, feel good all over.

If you locate them, don't make direct contact at first. Instead, break the ice by sending a card with your phone number enclosed. Invite them to contact you. Let things take a natural course. They may have reasons for not renewing the friendship.

7. Kill your negative personality.

Are you grouchy, grumpy and generally a doom-and-gloom person? If you are, I'll bet you can count your friends and acquaintances on one hand! Get rid of those traits and habits that have been hampering your growth. No one wants to be around a grouch.

8. Be confident.

This takes courage at first but learn to move around a room of people and purposely introduce yourself to people with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant. Apply #1 and #2 above as you meet and greet new people.

9. Practice control.

When angry, don't snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be adult enough to take control of the situation. Transform your anger into something more productive. If your anger rises to gigantic proportions easily, people will find it hard to confide in you. In fact, people will avoid you.

10. Keep nurturing your relationships.

Whatever happens in life, your relationships with your family, friends and significant others are so precious that you must not neglect them. Keep them active by going out and having fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will never elude you when the people who matter most to you are close to you.

In the end, self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It's a win-win situation - people know they can turn to you for help and comfort and they will be eager to return the favor.

Yours for success in life.

4 Powerful Steps To Gaining Confidence With Women

Dating is a source of recreation, and it is important to always keeping mind that it is also another way of getting to know and meet more people. This will make it less intimidating in going up to a woman and talking to her, if you tell yourself that it is pretty much the same as initiating a conversation with a stranger: scary, but not extremely so.

Men all over the world try endlessly to strike upon the right technique or pick up line, all to secure that first date, and then the subsequent and elusive second date. No technique or pick up line is going to work for you, if you lack self confidence. Women look for a man with value, who can contribute to a relationship. If you lack confidence, however, fret not. Below are 4 powerful steps to gaining confidence with women.

Step 1: Online Dating

Yes, laugh if you want. It is a fallacy that online dating is only for the old or the desperate, but this is not true. It is a great meeting ground for getting to know other people first, before deciding if it is someone you would like to meet in real life. It also gives you the opportunity to let the real you shine through, especially if you tend to seize up upon being in the presence of women. This should give you an indication of what dating is like face to face, it should be about getting to know the other person better, and not about using techniques to secure a second date.

Step 2: Your Personality

No one likes to hear someone spend the entire evening whining about the bitch at work, or how they deserved a promotion more than so-and-so. Similarly, keep the negativity away from your date: it is a sure conversation killer, and you can be assured that your date will never want to see you again. Be positive, and allow your personality to shine through. That is the major determinant on whether you will make it to a second date. Being positive and smiling will also help you to act more confident than you actually are, and confidence is a big draw for women.

Step 3: Location

Suggest a neutral location that your date will feel comfortable in. Pick somewhere central with people, so that she does not feel intimidated or threatened. However, do not go overboard and pick an overly crowded location. This will limit the conversation and the noise levels and crowd will reduce the interaction and opportunities for you to get to know each other. Plan out an activity that you think she will enjoy, such as going to the drive-in movies, or a board game café where you can spend quality time with privacy for conversation, without it being too threatening for her.

Step 4: The Bill

Always pay for the bill. Going Dutch is not an option on the first date, simply because manners dictate that the guy should pay for the dinner, or the movies. Paying for the bill without hesitation will also make your date feel like she is being treated like a princess, and that you value her company. It is also a subtle signal that you are a stable person who is capable of treating a woman right.

Follow these 4 simple steps to gaining confidence with women. Remember, it is not about tricks and techniques, it is about holding your nervousness at bay to allow the real you to establish a connection or rapport with your date.

Improving Self Confidence After A Breakup

Breaking up is never an easy process, especially if you never saw it coming. At this stage, it may feel easier for you to hold on to the broken pieces and memories then to move on. However, the truth is far from this.

There are many signs that you have yet to let go and start to move on. You find yourself retracing your footsteps, and every line in your fights, trying to figure out where it went wrong and what you could have done to fix it. You feel that if you could only figure out why your partner left, you would be able to convince them to come back. Worse still, is underlying all these thoughts, the implicit belief that your world is broken and will be magically fixed somehow if your partner would just step back into it.

If you have entertained any of the above thoughts, then it is a sure sign that your self confidence has hit rock bottom. In order to start healing and feeling better about yourself, you have to improve your self confidence at the same time. This is of course, easier said then done.

It is perfectly normal to want to know what went wrong, and if you were truly at fault. Sometimes it could be something that you did, but sometimes, it could simply be that your partner is no longer interested, and it is not because of anything you did or did not do. If you must think back on what happened, you owe it to yourself to figure out if you need to change your attitude, or behavior and actions. Changing these now may not bring your ex back into your life, but it will make your next relationship a lot smoother.

Give yourself time to cope with the sudden loss, and turn to your friends or family to help you adjust back to single hood. Fill in the gaps that your partner has left behind by pursuing activities that you never had time for, or did not do because your other half did not like it. Pick up a new hobby, go on a short holiday, meet new people, and do things that make you happy.

Remind yourself of your own self worth. Make a list of your accomplishments, or compliments that your friends, colleagues or superiors have ever paid you. This will help you keep in mind that you may have some habits that need changing, but so does everyone else, and that you do have many redeeming qualities. Work out some positive affirmations to help you clear your mind of negative thoughts and emotions. Let your subconscious help you with moving on.

All these advice will help you, but you must be willing to help yourself in improving your self confidence after a breakup. Make a checklist or a plan of what you want to achieve, and how you intend to go about achieving it. Give yourself a deadline to meet, and push yourself to do the things that you have listed out. Achieving what you have listed out will help you to feel better about yourself, and give you a sense of control over what you can do in life and help keep your emotions positive.

Do not beat yourself up for grieving over the loss of a relationship, or for taking time to deal with your sorrow. However, do not allow it to keep you down indefinitely. Remember that only when you truly let go will you be able to move on and build a future with someone else. Take this alone time to work through personal issues, or do things that you have always procrastinated doing. When you have learnt to change your bad habits and accept yourself, that is when you know that you are ready to move on and meet someone new.

The Law of Attraction and Romantic Relationships

The Law of Attraction has many tenets. For instance, be grateful for where you are. Imagine what you want in detail. Feel how you will feel once you have what you desire. Write it down and make it concrete. With this kind of creative work, the universe will conspire to bring you what you desire. The law of attraction applies to all aspects of your life. For the sake of this article, we will focus on romantic relationships and the law of attraction.

Did you know you are a part of the universe that is conspiring to bring you what you desire? When critics take shots at the popular phenomenon around the movie “The Secret,” they criticize the childlike nature of making wishes, sitting back, and waiting for them to come true. In truth, when you practice the law of attraction, because you are a part of the universe that is conspiring to bring you what you desire, you will likely find yourself inspired to become what you need to become in order to attract what you desire. You will also discover you are inspired to do what you need to do in order to attract what you desire.

The difference between those who make the Law of Attraction work for them and those who don’t is the willingness to act on the inspiration to be and do what you need to be and do in order to have what you desire.

If you are single and looking for that happily-ever-after relationship, you can attract the kind of romantic partner you desire. If you are in a relationship that is less than what you want it to be, you can attract to you a transformation in your relationship that makes it the kind of romance you desire. The place to begin is with you.

If you want your future (or present) romantic partner to be selfless and giving, you need to practice being selfless and giving. If you want your future (or present) romantic partner to be nurturing and appreciative of you, then you be those things in your life right now! If you want him to care about how he looks and presents himself, then you be that way. If you want her to be able to relax joining in your activities, then relax and enjoy the activities of the various people in your life today.

In addition, it is wise to pay attention to how you express your feminine or masculine energy, as you are the person you want to attract. When a man is selfless and giving, it looks different from when a woman is selfless and giving. If you are the woman in the relationship and want to maximize your feminine potential, then you will want to attract a man who maximizes his masculine potential. In which case, you do not want to be out there giving selflessly the way men do or you will never attract the kind of man you are looking for!

For instance, a woman can believe she is being selfless and giving when she acts like one of the guys, refusing to pull on her man, and making little or no demands. Inside a relationship, this can backfire when he interprets her as uncaring, uninterested, or dismissive. A more feminine way of giving selflessly to your man is to give him your undivided attention in a way that communicates he means the world to you, that you depend on him, that what he cares about matters to you because you do not ever want to be without him. That requires a certain kind of feminine vulnerability that a man who is looking for a long-term relationship will find irresistible. Furthermore, if you are in a committed relationship, giving your man your undivided attention in this way reminds him why he fell in love with you in the first place!

With things like caring about how he or she dresses or enjoying each other’s activities, do you feel that way because someone who said he loved you was a slob and that carelessness ultimately spread throughout the relationship? Do you desire someone to enjoy your activities because you once loved someone who was never interested in your world but only wanted you to participate in hers? The more you can be the kind of person and do the kinds of things you wish to attract, the more those kinds of people will show up in your life.

All our relationships are mirrors of who we are! If someone in your life, particularly a romantic partner, is being too casual, where else in your life are you being too casual with you? Perhaps it is in attracting this person in the first place, not valuing yourself enough to attract the kind of man or woman you truly desire. If someone in your life cannot stand your activities, where else in your life do you settle for such disrespect? Perhaps you do not respect yourself enough to insure you attract a man or woman who will respect you.

You do not have to sit around and wait for your wishes to come true. You are part of the universe that is conspiring to give you your heart’s desires! Declare your desires. Imagine them in minute detail. Feel how wonderful it will be when they arrive, as if they have already arrived! Make a list, write it down and make it concrete. Then, take inspired action! In particular, when you are attracting either a romantic partner or a significant improvement in your present relationship, pay attention when inspired action nudges you to be and do that which you desire to attract to you. It is one more piece of the Law of Attraction puzzle about which you can be proactive.

You are part of the universe that is conspiring to give you your heart’s desires!

Importance of Messages for Love Birds

Communication is an essential element in any relation and effective communications is utmost important. Specially, in a relation of love communicating with correct message is always helpful, it's in fact a base for everlasting relation. Though now days with the passage of time people have very little time left for their loved ones. Even the means of communication has also changed.

But it is always good to relate with each other. Earlier also young people in love pass on their messages through writing letters. Though message has remained the same but the mode has changed. Now the technology has taken the place of manual options, mobile communication and messaging along with internet has taken over traditional means of communication. Whatever the mode of passing message, it is important to interact with each other. It helps in creating certain kind of bond which helps in understanding each other and their thoughts. Any kind of gap in a relation is always bad. It leads to the end of relation.

The sweetness and love of relation is vanished if there is no communication. For couples who are committed, it is essential that they should share all kind of messages irrespective of whether it is good or bad. They should share all kind thoughts with each other. Nowadays the tradition of sending messages in beautiful bottle has started. Sending message in a bottle to your beloved is one of the best things you can do to delight him/her. It is very good to share such kind of short messages.

As it is very difficult to spend long time together or chat over phone for long period. Passing on message is very effective in this case. They should sort out problems, can seek advices in different matters. They should share everything with each other including everyday’s program. All theses minutes things actually help in creating and identifying each other’s place in their life. It also helps in knowing and understanding more. It helps in solving many problems of life.

Messages help in showing respect and feeling of comfort for each other. Moreover it helps to restore the faith of love upon each other. The faith which can shatter without proper communication can be regained and put stronger with the help of message. Message helps in creating bridge which breaks the gap between two hearts where only love resides.

Win Her Back – With These Words?

Do you know the right words to make your girlfriend stay with you or win her back? Does it seem like every time you say something she pulls further away? What are the right words for her to stay and love you? For men, this can be so frustrating but there is hope. Would it surprise you to know that nine little words (one sentence) can be the difference between having her in your arms and watch her walk away.

What is it this sentence that you should say? “I am OK with your decision to break up.”

It would seem that saying this means she can leave on good terms and you can stay friends. That, of course, is the last thing you wish to do. However, not saying it could do you more harm, why is that?

Women are strange beings to men. Why would this sentence be so important? Believe it or not, women want men to want them. They want you to plead with them to stay and they want you to miss them. By telling them this sentence, it shakes their confidence that you won’t miss them. Eventually, she’ll come to you to bring her ego back up, which means you win her back. You should decide how to handle things so things don’t go from bad to worse.

Once you say these words, the effect could be instantaneous or it may take up to a month before she reacts. You have already done what you can by saying your part. Sooner or later there will be a resolution, good or bad.

When using those words to win her back, there are two things to keep in mind.

- You need to mean them.
- She needs to be in a good mood or the right frame of mind to hear you say them.

If you don’t mean the words you say, what you said is liable to backfire if she should call your trick. It may be hard to use this sentence when the possibility of breaking up is there. Before you say it, make sure you refocus your intent to win her back and get into the frame of mind and keep a straight face when you are telling her.

If this is a woman you really want to be with, then letting her come to you before you spring it on her is best. Should you just blurt it out to her by phone, the result is not nearly powerful enough. Give your ex some space and time after this. Before you know it, she’ll be calling you, wanting to talk about the relationship.

By saying this one sentence, you are able to win her back into your arms. Anything after this is all up to you. How you handle the whole thing will decide if she will stay or if she will go. The power behind those words is amazing because it seems like such a straightforward approach.

How to Attract Women in 3 hours

Attracting women is as easy as attracting men and more or less the same norms apply to it. But men still have trouble doing so, so here are some tips that will help men find out How To Attract A Woman:
There is a natural attraction that exists between a man and a woman. This phenomenon has been God's work and has prevailed through different eras of men.
In all ages beginning right from the Stone Age man and women have behaved as partners who share their life.
It is not a process of building or creating attraction that one has to go through instead its simple surfacing the hidden chemistry. Women and men each have something to offer to each other.
Women can ease life through their laughs and men by their firm non giving attitude. Both have a unique charm that makes them distinct and interesting.
There is no question that women usually have to put minimum amounts of effort to get a guy however few men who really understand the dynamics involved can also successfully do the same.
Some men can easily get their way within a couple of hours while some can't in a lifetime. So what sets the two apart? It is a general misconception that if you have the looks and the money there is pretty much nothing else that is required. This is a myth as many handsome rich successful men are doomed to being single for a lifetime.
So how do men change their fate? What does it really take to attract a woman? The answer lies in a couple of steps that will ensure a lasting impression within a couple of hours spent together. Here are a few of them which will tell all those single men out there how to attract women:

COURTESY:
A man has to be courteous from the moment you get in the car seat without opening the door you are on the road downhill. Opening doors, passing smiles, saying thank you and giving genuine light compliments is something each woman enjoys. Makes them feel special and that is the entire point of getting into a relationship anyways to be able to appreciate each other.

INTELLECT:
Without over emphasizing or pressing put your point of view across. Share your passions and things that make you thrive towards betterment. Don't blabber but don't hold back you point of view.

APPROPRIATE PACE:
One should never talk of intimacy or impose feelings until the time is right. There should never be a rush into revealing your feelings as this makes you seem desperate and once again is discouraging to the female sex. On the other hand if you go too slow that is also a problem one should not be calculative however always give a quick thought to your actions before plunging forward.

Get Your Boyfriend Back - Reel Him Back Strategy

Your boyfriend left you and you are looking for ways to get your boyfriend back. It really breaks your heart. All the wrong things happen at the wrong time and now you feel at your lowest. You do have enough frustration in life and here one more – Your Unwanted Breakup! You were with your boyfriend for years and why is he turning his back on you now? When you have put your trust in someone that you give whole heartedly to, but in the end you are wrong! There must be a reason why you are not giving up on him. You need to get your boyfriend back.

There are ways you can win your guy back. What you need is a strategy to reel him back again. No contact. Eventually the curiosity will make him find out about what you have been doing without him. Make him miss you - your presence, your voice, and your smile. If he comes back, you should hold yourself back and make it a little difficult for him.

Do not pursue after him

Although society is far different from the Victorian era, a lot of guys are old-fashioned when it comes to relationships. They want to be in control so going after your man will all the more push him further away from you. This is also one way for him to realize that you are unique. When you put on a positive mindset, he may be driven to desperation and will treasure you all the more.

Do not tell him how badly you want him back

This is a surefire way of driving him away from your life. Yes, your heart is screaming for his embrace and for his presence, but this time, let your mind do the thinking instead of your heart. You should make it appear as if you have already gotten over the breakup and the relationship. This will appear a challenge to him and he will respond by chasing you more fiercely.

Create Curiosity

When you are together with your friends and out for after-office party, you should leave together with your friends without telling him where you are going. Although this may sound cruel, your boyfriend will all the more try to win you back more urgently.
When you show that you are confident and that you are standing strong, your boyfriend will realize his love for you and that is enough to make him pursue you like crazy.

Tips to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back – Learn Reverse Psychology

She broke your heart but you still can’t move on. All you can think about is how she made you feel whenever you were together. How you could share your feelings with her and she would not laugh at you. How she loved you and only you but now there seems to be no hope of winning her back; she has started dating another man. What are you to do? Do not fret. Here are some tips to get your ex girlfriend back.

First off, if she is dating someone else, choose your words carefully if you are trying to win her back. However, your words have considerable weight and how you say them and how you mean it will make all the difference.

You really want to win her back, one of the first tips to win your ex girlfriend back is to never bad mouth her new beau. It only makes you look bad and jealous. By giving her his long list of bad deeds only ensures your own bad deed list in her eyes. She is more likely to not talk to you afterwards. Women have a tendency to already know that you may be jealous even before you do something to show it. The best thing for you to do is show her how mature you actually are. Sometimes by wishing her and her new beau good luck, it can work more in your favor in her eyes. It’s called reverse psychology in relationships.

Many ex couples are choosing to stay friends especially if the break up was amicable. Some couples who were friends before the relationship can be friends afterwards. If she is able to call you after the break up then you still have a fighting chance. Should she bring up her new hunk, you should hold back on doing any trash talking. Let her figure things out on her own and let her come to you if she wants to. If you think it will not come out bad (or jealous sounding) give her some advice after you listen to talk.

By not badmouthing her or criticizing him, she will realize how mature you actually are. This means she will want to keep you as a friend and if it does not work out with her new beau. To her, you are someone who she can put her trust and share her feelings with.

Another one of those tips to get your ex girlfriend back is to not always be at her every need when she wants you. If you really want her back, you need her to miss you. By getting busy with other items or ignoring some of her calls, she’ll begin to think she is not the most important person in your life.

These tips to get your ex girlfriend back may not always work and may not always be easy but it is important to do if you want her in your life and in your arms once again.

Right Way to Get Your Ex Back - For Guys Only

You may not have been in a position of trying to win back the one that you love before, yet if you have experienced an unwanted break up, you should know by now that you can follow the right way to get your ex back. Too often, people follow the wrong advice, they commit the wrong options, and they say the wrong words. The result is of course tragic and sad. Reconciliation becomes next to impossible.

Break ups happen for several reasons. It might be due to differences of opinion that are difficult to bridge. It might also be because of failed promises and miscommunications. Either way, you have failed expectations and a broken heart. But if you want her back, then you recognize that she is worth keeping in your life. The right way to get your ex back begins with the analysis of what happened that led to the break up. Together with this analysis, you should be able to see what you could change to make up to your girlfriend.

Sometimes it is not the big things that lead to break ups. Rather, they are the little things forgotten and taken for granted. When you realize what these mistakes are, then you are ready to go on with the right way to get your ex back.

Improve yourself. There can be no reconciliation if you do not become better. Sometimes transformation begins with your physical appearance. When you look good, you also feel confident inside and before long, you notice the amazing changes in your life and in your perceptions. You should set targets to be accomplished. This way, you can keep track of your progress. Keep in mind that you are changing for the better for yourself as much as for your ex.

Think about what attracted you to her in the first place. Likewise, think about the qualities that you have that she got attracted to. If you do, you can use this knowledge to help her become attracted to you once again. By using your strengths and improving on your areas of weaknesses, then she can become attracted to you again and she might go back to you in no time at all.

Boost your confidence. This is not done in a vacuum and it does not happen overnight. When you begin doing the things together that you both enjoy, you affirm your love for your ex. When she notices these little things, she can then make the decision to accept you again. Guys, avoid making the same old little mistakes, do the right thing and you can get your ex back.

8 Deadly Dating Mistakes To Avoid!

Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very often we make the same dating mistakes over and over again? As outlined in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" sometimes these mistakes can lead to losing the date of our dreams, or possibly being in a bad relationship. I've compiled a list of dating No-nos which will help you identify a possible problem that you can work on to improve your dating experience.

#1 - Playing Games:
When it comes to dating we all have a fear of rejection. This is human nature. So playing it cool and not getting too involved with others makes us feel safe. Only problem with this is you may come off as being cold and aloof. For many people this is a real turn off. And you may find the date of your dreams slipping away. The best way to find a loving relationship is to be real. People will be far more receptive to you if they believe you are genuine.

An other game people play is the "manipulation" game. Doing things like telling someone you "love them" or you'll "call them" just to have them sleep with you. Then once the deed is done they never hear from you again. This is one of the most cruel forms of manipulation and it must be considered unacceptable in the dating world.

Understand that it is O.K. to be a bit cautious. But you still must be brave and show the real you. Only then will you be able to have a trusting, loving relationship with the date of your dreams.

#2 - Moving to Fast:
Ladies this one is for you. We all fantasize about our future and the man of our dreams. Again, this is only human. But, do you find yourself testing out his last name with yours and you haven't even gone out on a third date yet? Well, if you do it's time to remind yourself to Slow Down. Here's why. Normally for the first 3-8 months of a relationship we are running on euphoria. You know that "head over heels" or that "swept off your feet" kind of feeling that comes with falling in love? Well, there's an actual reason why this occurres. It's from a chemical in our body called oxytocin. Basically, this chemical takes over our brain and it interferes with our ability to think clearly. So, until you've had time to get to know a person, and spend time with him to see what he is really like, it's best not to get to far ahead of yourself. If your expectations become to high you may find yourself heading down the path of heartache, and losing the date of your dreams. Slow Down!

#3 - Are you always talking about your ex?
Carrying old baggage into a new relationship can be disastrous. Sure we've all had previous relationships, and yes your new love will find out about them. But, if you are constantly complaining about your ex, or always comparing your current love to your ex, it will get real old, real fast.

Instead, take some time to get to know this person. Give yourself the opportunity for a new start. Try to work out any old problems before you start up a new relationship. This way you won't allow the old baggage to cloud your judgment and affect your actions with your new love. Always talking about your ex may have you losing the date of your dreams.

#4 - Red Flags:
What are Red Flags? Well, here are some, but there are plenty more.
- Someone you were scheduled to meet doesn't show up and has no reasonable explanation as to why.
- Someone your involved with will not give you their home phone number.
- He/she will not introduce you to family or friends.
- He/she won't go out in public with you.
- Being cruel to a pet.
- Being disrespectful to a parent.
Yes, all of these are Red Flags. And, Red Flags should not be ignored.

While you should not jump to conclusions about anyone unless you have sufficient evidence that something maybe wrong. If you do feel there is a problem you will need to confront this person and ask for an explanation. If you do not get an acceptable explanation and the situation continues to occur then you need to move on. You do not want to waste your valuable time on a relationship that is doomed to fail.

#5 - Thinking Obsessively:
Are you a worrier? If so, don't let it ruin your relationship with the date of your dreams. Many people will worry over a relationship, even before it has a chance to really get going. You'll worry over what he/she said, or what your response was to something said. You'll worry over whether the relationship is moving to fast or to slow. Or whether the relationship is working at all. And, what will your friends think, your family think and so on. You need to understand that this sort of obsessive behavior is a real relationship killer. Try to build some self-confidence and trust that the relationship will work. And at a pace which is perfect for the both of you.

#6 - The Interrogation:
Do you want to know every detail of someone's life, and try to get it out of him/her on the first date? Well, you can't, not on the first or even the second date. If you come off as "The Interrogator" your new dream date will soon become tired of answering all your questions and move on to someone else. How many kids do you want to have? is not a good opening line on a first date. Just relax, let things happen naturally through simple conversation. Soon you'll know all there is to know about you new friend. So relax and just have some fun with you new date.

#7 - What about your needs?
Do you want kids, but, he/she does not? Did you tell him/her you want kids or are you just going along with his/her idea of life? You must be able to directly communicate your needs. If you don't you will spend your time in a relationship without having your needs met. You need to know what your own needs are and what his/her needs are before starting a serious relationship. When talking about your needs be assertive. Not bossy, naggy or demanding. But, tactful and direct. And, if the two of you can not agree on meeting each other's needs, (what ever they maybe) then it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. In any relationship whether it be personal or business the needs of all parties involved must be met.

#8 - Sacrificing too much:
Do you find yourself doing things to show someone you care that you would never do other wise? Are you letting yourself be used as a "doormat"? Usually this sort of behavior is associated with low self-esteem. Please realize that in any healthy relationship both parties must be treated as equals. And both parties must have their needs met. If this sounds like you re-evaluate your relationship, and if your are not happy get out. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are, without you having to jump through hoops to prove it.

Dating Tips: Shaping a Woman's Behavior

I'd like to introduce a concept called SHAPING.

Shaping includes a number of tools that are used to set a STRONG precedent of behavior in a woman.

Quick Question >>>

Have you ever been in a situation with a woman, and she talked about how she LOVED when her boyfriend did something very specific?

Do you remember feeling motivation to perhaps DO THE SAME EXACT THING?

-or-

Have you ever been with a woman, and she asked you if you were reliable, honest or had a good relationship with your family?

Do you remember feeling motivated to answer in a way to IMPRESS HER?

Of course... we've all been there.

What's important however is not what the outcome was in those situations, but only to be AWARE of the fact that you were EMOTIONALLY COMPELLED to behave in a certain way...

Whether she knew it or not (most likely, she DIDN'T) she was SHAPING you.

Now don't get me wrong, this isn't necessarily a bad thing...

People do it to each other all the time.

But most of the time, you are encouraging a woman to behave in a way that is NOT aligned with your desired outcome.

And that's what we want to change STARTING RIGHT NOW.

There are a number of different ways you can start to employ shaping in your interactions with women.

And I've split them up into 5 different categories.

Now don't get me wrong.

This is a HUGE topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping ALONE.

Right now I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to incorporate them into your interactions.

So let's look at the five different categories of shaping.

1. Screening questions.

Screening questions are questions specifically designed to:

A) Get a woman to answer a specific way and
B) Start to behave in a manner more congruent with how she just answered you.

There are many types of screening questions, and above all you should use them in the right context.

For example, you wouldn't start a conversation with a woman with the question "Do you consider yourself to be independent?"... but it might come later on.

Screening questions are by far the least subtle and most OVERT out of all the shaping techniques.

They are easiest to employ RIGHT away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to the woman.

2. Showing that you value certain behaviors or personality traits.

This is very similar to screening questions, except this time you are making a statement.

It's a little less obvious, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.

Instead of saying something like "What was the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?" (which is a screening question) You might say something like "Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life."

Because you are JUSTIFYING your statement with a truism (it's hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.

And because she's committed to saying spontaneity is important, she will now behave in a way CONSISTENT with that.

3. Setting a strong precedent through storytelling.

Now we're getting warmer.

This technique, along with the next two, are VERY devious.

They are so devious, in fact, that women use them ALL THE TIME.

It's funny actually - my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to discover that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also - had already used many of them NATURALLY!

Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my BEST techniques have been stolen DIRECTLY from the women I know who have the VERY BEST game.

The idea behind this 3rd concept is that you will tell a story that DEMONSTRATES what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.

For example, you could say to a woman, very early in the interaction something like:

"One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month's copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit."

The beauty of that is, it doesn't even have to be true!

(I'm not going to make a moral decision for you here, I'm sure that you're more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect on a woman whether they are true or not)

4. Pointing out a desired personality trait while ignoring the undesirable.

This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to amplify existing behaviors and personality traits.

The idea is that - if you see a girl doing something (for example, drinking like CRAZY while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.

Taking this single behavior - drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.

Let's say you like the free-spirited aspect of it, but you don't like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control...

You could say:

"Wow, you're so much fun! and so-free spirited. It's cool you do things you really want to do, and don't rely for others for direction. You follow your OWN desires."

By pointing out behaviors, you are in fact REWARDING them and AMPLIFYING that same behavior
in the future.

By selecting the ASPECT of her behaviors you like, and calling attention to them, you are SHAPING her future behavior.

(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she'll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn't go home with you. Sneaky, but also KILLER in the field)

5. Reward calibration i.e. giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her 'good' behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.

Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as "good" behavior from a woman, it is to your benefit to REWARD her with something you want her to WORK for or CHASE AFTER.

Hint: It should be either affection, physicality or getting in bed, and NEVER material or monetary. Violating this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!

(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)

Why women love dating funny men

Ask any woman what she looks for in a man and invariably she will answer “humour”.

Women love dating funny men. The way to man’s heart might be through his stomach, but the way to a woman’s is definitely via her funny bone.

I became distinctly aware of this last year, when Melbourne comedian Andy Lee was voted Cleo Bachelor of the Year. Yep, that’s right: the punters chose Lee over heartthrobs like surfing bad boy Koby Abberton.

My surprise turned to shock when Lee began dating supermodel Megan Gale, whose exotic looks and killer style have earned her kudos in the Australian fashion industry. Lee (who, at 25, is six years her junior) has consequently become a hero for every pimply, 15-year-old class clown.

I decided to put my curiosity to rest until I discovered that US comedian David Spade is currently dating blonde bombshell Heather Locklear. Uh-huh. Short, weedy Spade (best known for playing sleazy Dennis Finch on TV’s Just Shoot Me) landed newly-divorced Locklear, the early nineties pin-up girl for every hen-pecked 30-year-old. Before this, Spade was dating Lara Flynn Boyle and Kristy Swanson.

Intrigued, I continued my research. David Walliams, of Little Britain fame, has also left a bevy of beautiful women in his hilarious wake. Walliams has snared the likes of Aussie bikini babe Emily Scott, British actress Patsy Kensit, and supermodel Lisa Snowdon. Not bad for the only gay in the village.

And there and more odd celebrity couplings: Hank Azaria and ex-wife Helen Hunt. Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor. Barry Humphries and Lizzy Spender. Sacha Baron Cohen dating Isla Fisher. Woody Allen (who began his career as a stand-up comedian) with both Mia Farrow and Diane Keaton. Peter Sellers and Britt Ekland. And Jim Carrey, who hit the motherlode with exes Lauren Holly and Renee Zellweger, dating current flame (and former Playmate of the Year) Jenny McCarthy.

Women have it easy. All it takes to drive men crazy is some peekaboo lingerie and thigh-high boots. Men have to work much harder for their cut of charisma pie. In a battle of wits, if you’re an unarmed man you won’t get any of the dating spoils.

It’s easy why funny men are so successful at dating: they’re captivating, good conversationalists and they don’t take life (or themselves) too seriously. They’re usually confident and sociable.

And best of all, they’re good at expressing themselves. How could any woman resist?

Dating Woman - Please Take Note Of Details

Dating Woman - Please Take Note Of Details

If you are the one planning for the first date which should be the case for
the guy then you should read on as I share with you some of the tips that
might save you from a disaster.

Planning for the conventional procedure of dinner and follow by a movie
might considered a bad first date idea. You may feel uneasy sitting in front
of your date while eating because you'll be conscious of the way you eat
your food, from the table manner, the way you chew that piece of meat or
the sound you make while drinking the soup, the way you speak, the way
you sit, and other thing here and there.

You need to talk to keep the momentum going between both of you and the
chemistry or the outing will be boring. But if you talk or smile show the set
of teeth during meal, you might show some of the food stuck between your
teeth or while talking, saliva droplet might shot out from your mouth onto
the table or worst, straight to her face. These scenarios are major turn-offs.

First dates are supposed to be about memorable first impressions due to the
fact that this may determine if there is a possibility of a second date. If you
must go for meal, try food that are not too messy to handle or greasy that will
fill your lip and mouth with tons of oil, talk less during the meal and finish fast
and gracefully, then communicate with style and comfort over a cup of drink!

No movie on first date, because the date is about knowing one another better
and not spending 2 hours or so sitting like a statue in a big dark room cramp
with other strangers, this eliminates the crucial ingredient of communication.

You'll be sitting side by side silently in the movie theatre looking straight up
at the big screen in front of both of you two and your date might think that
you're not interested in knowing her more, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT TALK
WHEN THE MOVIE IS SCREENING!

Let the dating be more fun with light activity and more chances to interact with
each other. This will build and increase the chemistry between dating couple.

Successful Dating Strategies - How to Date and how not to Date

If you are single, you will know how difficult it is to find advice about dating and being single. We'd all love to meet our perfect soulmate. So often so-called dating experts (who are usually married) astound us with obvious wisdom but I am sure you get the feeling their point of view isn't always too realistic. You know, being single can be a tough and lonely whatever your age, and every now and again it would be good to get some real inspiration from other single people.

If you are new to the dating scene, a regular or are just simply wanting to meet someone new there should always be time for top dating tips, advice, information and things to consider. The truth is there are no magic formulas or potions and no cunning ways of trapping Mr or Miss right. But there are some valid facts that you should take into consideration along the way.

1. Make sure you are really ready to enter the dating game. Have some idea about what it is you are hoping to achieve. Also be prepared for some disappointments along the way, however don't let this affect the bigger picture.

2. Get your image right, don't go over the top, you still want to look like yourself. Don't try too hard either, but remember people do appreciate other peoples appearances.

3. Think about your dating goals and timescales. Be honest to yourself, if you see yourself married in two years, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back about dating, then be honest with those you may date.

4. Be confident. Do all those little things that will boost your confidence levels. Don't talk about adult matters or sex toys on your first date. The other person will respect you more in the long run if you dont bring up this 'touchy' issue.

5. Don't aim too low but do aim realistically. Be prepared and realistic about your chances. Dating is not just based on your personality but on the whole package you present to others.

6. Think about where you are going to meet new people. Join drama groups or a gymnasium, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners and the kind of people you are looking to meet.

7. If it's not going well, then don't be afraid to take time out from dating. Take stock and maybe re-evaluate. Keep your optimism high and try again.

8. Remember you're not going to necessarily meet your soulmate on your first date. So enjoy dating for what it is, meeting new people and even making new friends as you go.

9. Never make yourself too available. People still like the thrill of the chase when dating. The longer someone is made to chase you and fall for you, the more likely it is that love is going to blossom.